Get caught up

Having children has definitely taught me one very important lesson: My house will never be tidy again. I clean, disinfect, scrub toilets, and keep the refrigerator and floors as un-sticky as possible.  But, there is nothing tidy about a household run with very small people included. My home was tidy in years past because we were never there.  Now 90% of my time is spent in the same 1400 ft.². Messes are bound to happen and calamity is an everyday occurrence.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it.  I don’t even really mind the messes. I never really have been overwhelmed by the chaos that happened after I had children, but I did feel a little shame over my floor being littered with toys and chores being a little lot behind schedule. I felt it was a judgment on how I was as a parent. Now I know better than to ever fall into that crazy way of thinking.

I see it as more of a reflection on how I want my children to spend their childhood.  Life is messy anyway.  Might as well let them experience it now. So if they need the entire house to set up a train set, well you know, that’s just what happens.

So if I had to look back and talk to myself before having kids I would say one very important thing. Get caught up, but do not be caught up. Get caught up in the spontaneous giggles. Get caught up in the moment of watching a ladybug crawl across the porch. Get caught up in watching the clouds float by while we swing. Because the laundry will always be there, the dishes will always be there, and something in my house will always be dirty.

Do not be caught up in keeping your home nice and clean so that the neighbors will think you’re a good parent. Do not be caught up in the kitchen being immaculate and miss being caught up in making a mess with your kids. Do not be afraid to just take it hour by hour, minute by minute, and sometimes second by second. Our children will always live in the moment when their little, if you are not in the moment with them you can be in the room and still yet be totally absent.

I have difficulty every day with remembering that our home does not have to be beautiful for our lives to be beautiful.  My idea of beautiful and my children’s idea of beautiful are vastly different. (Maybe this issue is a touching point for me right now because we’re deep into potty training. Either way it’s been on my mind all day.)

So if you’re parent of young children reading this.   If you are a human being reading this.   If you are reading this, just remember I don’t think any of the world’s biggest issues were ever solved by doing just one more load of laundry.  And Lego houses won’t build themselves.